{"id":2714,"date":"2025-06-23T11:08:07","date_gmt":"2025-06-23T11:08:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/?p=2714"},"modified":"2025-09-11T09:19:18","modified_gmt":"2025-09-11T06:19:18","slug":"lahutus-lopp-voi-uus-voimalus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/paarisuhted\/lahutus-lopp-voi-uus-voimalus\/","title":{"rendered":"Lahutus: l\u00f5pp v\u00f5i v\u00f5imalus uuesti alustada?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><\/h4>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Lahutus \u2013 \u00f5ige v\u00f5i vale? Hea v\u00f5i halb?<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">See on k\u00fcsimus, mis enamasti ei anna rahu v\u00e4ga paljudele. Kas minna v\u00f5i j\u00e4\u00e4da? Kui otsustada, siis kuidas? Ja kas \u00fcldse on olemas \u201e\u00f5iget\u201c vastust?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Olen oma t\u00f6\u00f6s ja isiklikus elus n\u00e4inud igasuguseid lugusid: paare, kes on otsustanud minna lahku ja paare, kes on otsustanud j\u00e4\u00e4da kokku. On neid, kes on j\u00f5udnud otsuseni koos\u2026 ja neid, kus valiku on teinud \u00fcks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Sageli tekib murdepunkt siis, kui keegi suhtes tajub, et on kaotanud iseenda. Tekib tunne, nagu nad elaksid kellegi teise elu. Mitte oma. Ja siis kerkib k\u00fcsimus:\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s3\">Kas see ongi k\u00f5ik? Kas see ongi minu elu?<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">S\u00fcsteemse t\u00f6\u00f6 vaates on lahutust ja suhteid v\u00f5imalik n\u00e4ha palju s\u00fcgavamalt. Siin on m\u00f5ned v\u00f5tmet\u00f5ed, mis v\u00f5ivad aidata sul olukorda selgemalt m\u00f5ista ja otsuseid langetada:<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">1. Partnerite valik on alateadlik, mitte juhuslik<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Me ei vali oma partnereid \u201em\u00f5istusega\u201c. Suhted s\u00fcnnivad alateadlikust t\u00f5mbest \u2013 kahe inimese tausts\u00fcsteemides on midagi, mis tahab tulla n\u00e4htavale. Sageli on see \u00fchine valukoht. Meie toimetulekustrateegiad v\u00f5ivad k\u00fcll olla erinevad, kuid s\u00fcgaval sisimas puudutab meid sarnane haav.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Esimesed 1,5 aastat suhtes oleme justkui \u201cpimedas armastuses\u201d. Juhindume tundest, mitte teadlikust valikust. Seej\u00e4rel tekib hetk, kus n\u00e4eme \u00fcksteist selgemalt. Siis on k\u00fcsimus:\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s3\">Kas ma valin sind ka siis, kui ma sind p\u00e4riselt n\u00e4en?<\/span><span class=\"s2\">\u00a0Ja see on teadliku p\u00fchendumise koht. Kui seda ei juhtu, siis sageli j\u00e4\u00e4dakse \u201cootama\u201d, et elu otsustaks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">2. Kui suhtesse on s\u00fcndinud v\u00f5i on eostatud laps(ed), ei kao vanemlik side kunagi<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Paarisuhe v\u00f5ib l\u00f5ppeda, kuid vanemlik side j\u00e4\u00e4b. L\u00f5putult. Ka siis, kui laps ei s\u00fcndinud j\u00e4\u00e4vad partnerid \u00fchendusse l\u00e4bi vanemliku sideme. Seega, kui lahutatakse on oluline j\u00e4tta paarisuhte valu k\u00f5rvale ning suunata fookus lapse\/laste heaolule. Laps vajab m\u00f5lema vanema armastust ja ka m\u00f5lema vanema luba armastada teist vanemat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Kui laps peab valima vanemate vahel, valib ta alati iseenda vastu.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">3. Lahutuse algatajale j\u00e4\u00e4b sageli n\u00e4htamatu \u201es\u00fc\u00fc\u201c<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Lahkumineku algatamisega kaasneb sageli s\u00fcgavam alateadlik s\u00fc\u00fc. Kui see j\u00e4\u00e4b teadvustamata, tekib automaatne vajadus kompenseerida tekitatud valu, sageli ebatervel viisil. Suhtlus v\u00f5ib minna segasemaks, valusamaks, kontrollimatumaks. Arvati, et asjad saavad lihtsamaks, kuid tegelikkus l\u00e4heb keerulisemaks. Just selle sisemise tasakaalutuse p\u00e4rast.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">4. Kui eelnevate suhetega ei ole rahu tehtud, ei ole v\u00f5imalik olla kohal uutes suhetes<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Endine partner j\u00e4\u00e4b justkui \u201cs\u00fcsteemi kummitama\u201d. Kui suhe pole l\u00f5petatud, kui ei ole leinatud, kui s\u00fcdames on j\u00e4\u00e4nud midagi pooleli, siis see h\u00e4irib uue suhte voolamist. Sagedased t\u00fclid, pidev v\u00f5rdlemine, armukadedus, viha, emotsionaalne distants \u2013 viitavad sellele, et eelmisele ei ole veel \u00f6eldud \u201chead aega\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">5. Iga suhte l\u00f5pp vajab leina ja v\u00e4\u00e4rikat l\u00f5petust.<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Lahutus ei ole lihtsalt \u201csuhtest v\u00e4lja astumine\u201d. See on l\u00f5pp. Suur l\u00f5pp. Ja see vajab aega, kohalolu ja leina. Kui suhe l\u00f5petatakse kiirustades, v\u00e4ltides tundeid v\u00f5i lihtsalt \u201c\u00e4ra minnes\u201d, siis j\u00e4\u00e4b protsess l\u00f5petamata ja see m\u00f5jutab nii sind kui ka sinu tulevasi suhteid.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">V\u00e4\u00e4rikas l\u00f5petus t\u00e4hendab, et m\u00f5lemad osapooled saavad \u00f6elda \u201cait\u00e4h\u201d, \u201cmul on kahju\u201d, \u201cma annan sind vabaks\u201d. Isegi kui see on v\u00f5imalik vaid l\u00e4bi sisemise t\u00f6\u00f6, mitte silmast silma. Alles siis saab suhe l\u00f5ppeda ja inimene olla vaba uueks alguseks.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4 class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Lahutus on protsess, mis kannab endas laiemat m\u00f5ju.<\/span><\/h4>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">Lahutus ei ole ainult kahe inimese tee lahknemine. See on s\u00fcsteemne muutus, mille m\u00f5ju on ulatub s\u00fcgavamate kihtideni. See m\u00f5jutab meie lapsi, suheteid, sisemaailma ja isegi meie j\u00e4rgnevaid p\u00f5lvkondi.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">See on\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s3\">protsess<\/span><span class=\"s2\">, mis vajab teadlikkust, s\u00fcdamega kohalolu ja ausust iseenda vastu. K\u00fcsimus ei ole ainult selles, kas minna v\u00f5i j\u00e4\u00e4da, vaid\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s3\">kuidas<\/span><span class=\"s2\">\u00a0minna\u2026 ja\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s3\">kuidas<\/span><span class=\"s2\">\u00a0j\u00e4\u00e4da.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s2\">\u2013 Riine<\/span><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Lahutus \u2013 \u00f5ige v\u00f5i vale? Hea v\u00f5i halb? See on k\u00fcsimus, mis enamasti ei anna rahu [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2715,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,30,36],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-paarisuhted","category-suhted-lastega","category-sustemne-too"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0.png","uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0.png",1200,630,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-150x150.png",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-300x158.png",300,158,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-768x403.png",768,403,true],"large":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-1024x538.png",1024,538,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0.png",1200,630,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0.png",1200,630,false],"trp-custom-language-flag":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0.png",18,9,false],"woocommerce_thumbnail":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-500x500.png",500,500,true],"woocommerce_single":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-600x315.png",600,315,true],"woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":["https:\/\/riine.ee\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/image0-100x100.png",100,100,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"riineaidberg","author_link":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/author\/riineaidberg\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Lahutus \u2013 \u00f5ige v\u00f5i vale? Hea v\u00f5i halb? See on k\u00fcsimus, mis enamasti ei anna rahu [&hellip;]","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2714"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2718,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2714\/revisions\/2718"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2715"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/riine.ee\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}